We have been told for eternity we will go to leadership heaven by keeping our doors always open.

But does Open Door Policy work?

The day I was handed the title “Project Leader”, my first leadership role some 22-odd years ago, Andy, my boss, told me, “Keep Your Doors Always Open”.

Andy’s doors were always open. He was charismatic. His office was always full of folks, as if he was a super-specialist doctor solving people’s ailments.

And his patients - People with all sorts of problems, some big, some little, and some nasty. But his doors were always open.

Andy was our manager, and his sole job was to manage problems. The other leaders under him managed the project.

Andy was a staunch supporter of the Open Door Policy, but there was one problem: he didn’t seem to do anything.

As a new leader, I tried the same, Andy being my role model.

I felt like Godfather. Powerful. But deep inside me, I was having mental anguish of not focussing on doing productive work. My vision was getting blurrier and blurrier with the passing of time.

Open Door Policy was killing me like slow poison, drip by drip. I looked at my fellow tech leads and found that they were suffering the same frustration.

Everybody just wore a powerful, fierce-looking-sounding mask like “Darth Vader” did, but deep inside, they were feeling rotten.

When the Great Recession of the 2000s hit, Andy was the first one to get fired.
After all this helping, how can the company fire him?

The Boundaries Approach to Leadership

Years went by, and at my coaching school, I discovered the wonderful world of “Boundaries”. A Boundaries approach to leadership is quite the opposite of the “Open Door Policy”.

With Boundaries, You become assertive by saying “No.”

Everyone has boundaries. Have you ever heard the word “Personal Space”?
Yes, these are boundaries. Also, the phrase “Don’t cross that line?”
It was the most common sensical theory hidden from us in plain sight.

Yes, we all have boundaries; we are just unaware of them.

Say I offer you a job with two late night shifts (9pm -4am) each week. Would you take it?
Notice the feelings that arose from this very question.
There is a pretty good chance the answer would be no.

Say, I said that you only worked just three days, and you got compensated for the whole week. The answer this time might be different.

Finding boundaries is the first step in the self-awareness of a leader.

This also helps a leader find his limits on what is acceptable and what is not.

Here is how to find your boundary

• Lets get back to the scenario . If I call you at 6pm for work related matter would it be ok?

• If the answer is yes, then it is not a boundary. What do you think about 11pm?

• If the answer is no, then its a boundary. Keep digging.

My Call To Action

1. Take one aspect of your life where you need to improve.
2. Think hard, take a note book. At what points would you tend to bend.
3. At what point would you break? This is your boundary.

Go on, apply this boundaries approach to any aspect of your life.
You will be pleasantly surprised when you define the abstract into something concrete.

Close your doors; open them occasionally before drawing your boundary.

Agree, Disagree? Do let me know your thoughts.

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Overthinking is a disease. I know firsthand as I am writing this newsletter piece after one month. This was supposed to escape my mind’s cage a month ago.

Here is the story: I was at a writers' club and gave one of my content pieces for review. It was brought out in all its glory and then critiqued.

It hurt. Yes, feedback hurts. My immediate reaction was, how could they?

Welcoming an uninvited guest

Then Mr. Perfectionist visited me. First, he joined me as a guest, announcing, “Hey, I am here, my dearest friend.” He looked at the comments provided and said, “Yay, that's right.” It would help if you did all of these.

And then, every moment, he was with me. When I started writing, he said, “That's no good.” You should start studying copywriting.

So, I bought a bunch of courses and completed them. ”Copy Cure by Marie” and the copywriting handbook? Took me a few weeks.

Then he said, hey hey, you need to give value to the reader. What if your article is “Shit.”

Yeah, yeah, internally, I was getting tired of this guest. I wanted him to leave. He was stifling my creativity.

Overthinking stops you from functioning

I stopped posting on Linkedin. I stopped posting on X. I stopped adding value to people.

Because Mr. Perfectionist converted me to Mr. Overthinker.

I was living every moment thinking, but my Mr. Creativity and Mr. Funny (the other parts of me) were dying a boring death. And my language turned to loungy language—the language they speak at the airport lounges with a suit and tie and an expensive briefcase with two bottles of 21-year-old Single Malt Whiskey.

The superficial world of business

Other moving parts kept me on my toes

• finishing my home build that took around 5 years

• my email course

• my lead magnet

All were stuck, thanks to Mr Perfectionist.

The inspiration to kick out overthinking

Then I watched Cameron Fink’s LinkedIn video, and he is a super funny guy; I am a fan. In a podcast, he was describing his course inspiration, “Be Less Shit” People don’t care. People love you because of who you are. People connect with Human Beings, not some Random AI. And It is OK to make mistakes. We all are shit, but because you add value, maybe you are less shit.

I started shining my leather boots, yes I did the spit shine technique And Kicked Mr. Perfectionist out. Because I was tired of overthinking about overthinking, you get it. That is quite a mouthful.

Taking action beats overthinking

The problem we have en masse is that we all have Mr. Perfecionist in ourselves. But observe how we work, how a baby walks, and how you do things.

Life is supposed to be an iterative process.

So, I have my article out, with so many mistakes - God knows how many, but here it is, the cat is out of the bag, ready to roam around doing its version of Roar (read meow)

The 8 Holy Steps

Now here is my step-by-step process to invoke the removalists to remove Mr. Perfectionist out for good.

Step 1: Identify your Patterns of overthinking Patterns for overthinking - Even chewing gum loses its freshness if chewed too many times.
Look at your behaviours to check where Mr Perfectionist is hiding.

Step 2: Find out what the result of overthinking has been.
Is it not starting a side gig?
Is it buying that course?
Is it the YouTube video you want to shoot?
Is it that LinkedIn post you want to send?

Step 3: Find out how you overthink.
Create a 5-year-old mini-self who asks questions like any 5-year-old.
Let it ask you how you overthink; please teach it to me.
Now hold your horses; no silly answers; with seriousness, teach the 5-year-old how to overthink.
Write it down.

Step 4: Get Awareness
This step involves reflecting on the patterns collected around how you overthought.

Step 5: Find the Fear inside Ask what fear is hiding inside it.
Like a squirrel stuck hiding in the attic of your mind, take your torch from your hip pocket and shine a light on that fear.

Is it

• fear of shame?

• fear of rejection?

• fear of failure?

Step 6: Celebrate and Thank the Fear
It is keeping you safe.
It has good intentions, but the effects are bad.
Say thank you and Kick it with your shiny boots.

Step 7. Break Pattern
Every habit has four components - 1) Cue, 2) Craving, 3) Response, and 4) Reward. (The book - Power of Habit).
Shortcircuit the habit loop to create a different response but give the same reward.

Step 8: Free…. Now just do it.

Homework:

Follow the above 8 Steps on a task you need to be overthinking/procrastinating. I know it is long, but if you don’t take action, you might be overthinking; you might start at that one.

Signing off

I have finally finished this one, but I still need to finish sending my gift to you. Tonight, you will get my free email course right in your inbox. Yes free :)

If you happen to read this article much later, just DM or email me, and I will send the course through.

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In the summer of 2010, I met John at the Apple Convention.

John was quite charming—his manner — mesmerising.
It seemed like he was a walking and talking encyclopedia. He had a lovely voice, too.

We started a conversation and soon became best mates. Soon, he was helping me in my business and became my business partner. We launched our new business venture.

But there was an awkward charm in John. He would speak for days on end, and when it came to my turn to speak, he would often divert any topic toward him.

I got a lot of value from John, but I was losing my focus. Focus was my core strength, and it has seen me rough through the worst periods of my life. His voice and his friendly mannerisms kept our relationship going.

The Manipulator

Soon, I figured that John had this particular narcissism in him. John was a manipulator.

I started falling behind. I would procrastinate and put off things until later. Not that I was blaming John for this, but let's say he was a major influence.

I found myself spending hours and hours each day with John, but my attention span was ever-decreasing. I tried speaking to John about this, and he would come out clean. “Go to the doctor,” he would say. I would then feel the guilt. I tried quitting this relationship multiple times but couldn’t.

John was my Time Thief, stealing blocks of time from my life.

Then, one day, I hatched a plan. I locked John up in a room and turned off the main switch. He didn’t like darkness. I timed it—exactly four hours.

John was my iPhone and his battery was dead.

I had surrendered my will to this piece of tool and humanised it for long. But no more.
I let my phone become the time thief because I let it.

Since that incident, I have now deleted almost all the apps on the phone (except the default ones). If there is anything I need to do with the internet, I have moved to my laptop.

What changed?

I will not parrot the harmful effects of the phone, but these things happened since I quit my phone.

- I have now moved to Async Communication. I no longer answer the phone when people call me. I call them back.
- If it is urgent, they can call me again. I pick it up at the 3rd call.
- I have gained my mental clarity.
- I have moved away from digital back to analogue systems. I have this piece written on paper.
- I carry a pen and notepad to capture all my thoughts.
- I go for long walks without my phone. It’s nourishing for my soul.
- I have become unreachable on Saturdays. I even plug off my router. There are no internet days for me and my family on Saturdays.

It’s hard and awkward

Yes, it feels hard, but I have found a true connection in the disconnection. I am no longer a slave to my phone. I have started focussing more on my interests and reclaiming my empire—Little by Little, Brick by Brick.

- Writing. I dedicate 2 hours daily to writing/study of writing.
- Meeting people with more intent with my phone switched off.
- Photography
- Tabla - The Indian percussion instrument I am learning from scratch.
- Building my ultimate side hustle

I have muted John. He can no longer call me, but I can call him, and that is OK.
You have a John, Suzy, Raj or Priyanka in your lives. They are quite like John.

Be the action hero. Give it a name and end that relationship with the tool.
Relegate them to the status of just a tool and not your friend.

Because they are the ultimate time thief.

Image Credit: DallE-3

What is your relation to time? I always wish I had more time. I regret I brood on the missed opportunities. I kick myself, I should have done that.
Strangely, I ruminate on my past like watching a horror movie again and again.

And the result? I go on a never-ending cycle of guilt.
For example, one such thought was I should have started my business a lot earlier when I was young. I am 45 and when I think of time, my mind keeps telling me, I don’t have time.

I should be watching Netflix rather than writing this piece. Ah.. the struggles of writing :).

Sometimes, I feel like I am two people living in one. 

But this topic is not about me, It’s about Time.

Similar thoughts, similar feelings? I know. I have spoken to quite a few close friends and everybody has the same feeling. There is no time?

Let’s take a step back and see why this is happening. Perhaps, we could open up a new portal which has our solutions?

How do I do that? I am seeing you poking a finger at me with red eyes.

The Time Machine

Let me introduce you to your own “Time Machine” a.k.a your mind. This machine of yours can travel to the past, faster than any speed of light.

Strangely, light cannot travel to the past, but only to the future because of its linear nature. But the mind can easily and effortlessly travel to the past.

Why am I saying this? Because the answer to finding time lies in our pasts.
Agree? At least now we are on the same page.

Rewatching a full day in the past

When we are in the past, let’s relive a full day. You can call this meditation, but you can relive the full day by carefully observing your past.

And, here is the fun and weird thing.

You have an imaginary remote control built into this time machine. You don’t have to sit down for a full day to relive it. It just takes a few moments to relive the entire day. A few moments.

I can hear you telling me. “Ok, you somehow tricked me into living my past, and I did, so what? Is this some kind of circus trick? Tell me what to do next.”

There are 3 things you can do here:
1. Relive the past and watch what emotions were present throughout. Anger, Fear, Overwhelm, Joy, Grief, Frustration?
2. Ask why that emotion surfacing. What might be the probable cause?
3. Ask what if you were to take lessons on how not to live a day like this and design that perfect day?
I will leave you with these 3 questions to reflect on.

Three Questions

Homework for this week then?
Who gives homework in a newsletter? I do, because there is no better thing than to become an action hero, the doer instead of just the reader.

Questions:
1. Design your perfect day in detail.
- What emotions do you want to have on your perfect day?
- Adjust the contrast, colour, temperature, the settings of that day.
- Adjust how you are going to spend that lovely day.
- Finally place a totem there (like in the movie Inception, a small toy, a key, a flower or anything). This symbolises the entire day. Yes, it’s funny, silly but it’s important.
Why? I will tell to you next week ;)


Until then …

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Image courtesy: Dall.E - Prompt: A Technologist’s dream

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It starts with a dream!

Remember the time when somebody bumped into you: a colleague, a boss, a mate or even yourself.
”You are a brilliant techie, why not build the course”,
“You helped the project with strong dedication and focus. Why not teach it outside”
”What are you doing here? You should build your product”

You smile, take a deep breath, a sigh. “Who me?” and then you move on.

But that night, you toss and turn. Why not me? I have all the skills in my game. Why not me?

You look at the piling bills, the mortgage, the yearly appraisal. You feel comfortable. But no, “I cannot take this risk yet”.

The word “Yet” is significant because it tells us that your dream is still alive.

And here is this profound question.
What if you dare dream?
What if you took the horse of life by its reigns and guided it to wherever you desire to go?
What if you don’t need to leave your 9-5, but secretly brick by brick build a side hustle empire that earns while you sleep.?
What could you do with the flexibility of the extra money?

And the answer lies in money.
Money is a great magnifier. It also gives you power. It is also a blocker for many of us.
I have had money and I have not had money. It is a great motivator. Hence why in this newsletter we focus on transforming you, yes you into a technopreneur.

Mindset Shift One: Sharing is Authority

So many of us have these expert tech skills, but we rarely showcase it. Why? Maybe, we are shy? Maybe, we are busy. But the most important mindset shift I want you to have is “Position yourself as the authority”.

Even if you are 2 steps ahead of the game from your peers, you are an authority figure. Share what you know. Because once we share stuff of what we do, who we are, it connects at the identity level.

Yes, that’s you. Mr. Expert. Instead of operating with fear, we operate with the powerful mindset of authority.

Mindset Shift Two: “You” focussed approach

If you have seen the linkedin posts, X posts, it’s all about people.
“Hey, I got this new certification”,
“Hey, I attended this seminar (selfie included)”,
“Hey, I am giving this speech”.

All these are “Me” focussed. The challenge with the Me focussed approach is its super narrow, and the focus is on yourself. But you know what? The sad truth is the audience doesn’t care.

The Audience cares only about themselves. When we move the focus from “Me to You”, magic happens.

Isn’t that leadership? The leadership is focused on people rather than himself.
Why? Because the audience is tuned to only one radio station “WIIFM” - What Is In It for Me.

Your questions change.
“How can I add value to people”,
“Here is how I solved this problem and suggestions on how you could too”

Mindset Shift Three: The competition is you

Yeah, the competition is you. This journey might disguise itself as technopreneurship, but in fact it is about your journey to exploring yourself. In this journey, you will meet yourself at different points.

And as Zig Ziglar says, when you find yourself telling, “Huh?”, that’s the turning point.

As somebody said, “You are your worst enemy and the greatest friend”. This dichotomy does exist. Many times you will block your own thoughts. We all do. And equally, you will unblock yourself, with reason and logic and rationale.

Final Thought

So, why not join this journey in exploring your path. Being curious and gently asking what if? What might? Questions and exploring beyond the horizon.

Ok, this is where I am supposed to say like Morpheus from the movie Matrix, Red or Blue pill, the choice is yours.

What do you want to be known as?

The Try-yer? The dabbler?

Or, The Dedicated? The Committed?

And the journey starts not today, but right now. No sugar coating this, because
”You are your best friend and worst enemy”

I send this email weekly. If you would also like to receive it, join the newsletter to join the technopreneur's journey.

Welcome to the new world.

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