Stop the Spiral: 8 Steps To Break Overthinking
Confessions of a Recovering Overthinker: How I Kicked Out My Uninvited Guest and Reclaimed My Creativity (Plus 8 Steps to Break Free)
Overthinking is a disease. I know firsthand as I am writing this newsletter piece after one month. This was supposed to escape my mind’s cage a month ago.
Here is the story: I was at a writers' club and gave one of my content pieces for review. It was brought out in all its glory and then critiqued.
It hurt. Yes, feedback hurts. My immediate reaction was, how could they?
Welcoming an uninvited guest
Then Mr. Perfectionist visited me. First, he joined me as a guest, announcing, “Hey, I am here, my dearest friend.” He looked at the comments provided and said, “Yay, that's right.” It would help if you did all of these.
And then, every moment, he was with me. When I started writing, he said, “That's no good.” You should start studying copywriting.
So, I bought a bunch of courses and completed them. ”Copy Cure by Marie” and the copywriting handbook? Took me a few weeks.
Then he said, hey hey, you need to give value to the reader. What if your article is “Shit.”
Yeah, yeah, internally, I was getting tired of this guest. I wanted him to leave. He was stifling my creativity.
Overthinking stops you from functioning
I stopped posting on Linkedin. I stopped posting on X. I stopped adding value to people.
Because Mr. Perfectionist converted me to Mr. Overthinker.
I was living every moment thinking, but my Mr. Creativity and Mr. Funny (the other parts of me) were dying a boring death. And my language turned to loungy language—the language they speak at the airport lounges with a suit and tie and an expensive briefcase with two bottles of 21-year-old Single Malt Whiskey.
The superficial world of business
Other moving parts kept me on my toes
finishing my home build that took around 5 years
my email course
my lead magnet
All were stuck, thanks to Mr Perfectionist.
The inspiration to kick out overthinking
Then I watched Cameron Fink’s LinkedIn video, and he is a super funny guy; I am a fan. In a podcast, he was describing his course inspiration, “Be Less Shit” People don’t care. People love you because of who you are. People connect with Human Beings, not some Random AI. And It is OK to make mistakes. We all are shit, but because you add value, maybe you are less shit.
I started shining my leather boots, yes I did the spit shine technique And Kicked Mr. Perfectionist out. Because I was tired of overthinking about overthinking, you get it. That is quite a mouthful.
Taking action beats overthinking
The problem we have en masse is that we all have Mr. Perfecionist in ourselves. But observe how we work, how a baby walks, and how you do things.
Life is supposed to be an iterative process.
So, I have my article out, with so many mistakes - God knows how many, but here it is, the cat is out of the bag, ready to roam around doing its version of Roar (read meow)
The 8 Holy Steps
Now here is my step-by-step process to invoke the removalists to remove Mr. Perfectionist out for good.
Step 1: Identify your Patterns of overthinking Patterns for overthinking - Even chewing gum loses its freshness if chewed too many times.
Look at your behaviours to check where Mr Perfectionist is hiding.
Step 2: Find out what the result of overthinking has been.
Is it not starting a side gig?
Is it buying that course?
Is it the YouTube video you want to shoot?
Is it that LinkedIn post you want to send?
Step 3: Find out how you overthink.
Create a 5-year-old mini-self who asks questions like any 5-year-old.
Let it ask you how you overthink; please teach it to me.
Now hold your horses; no silly answers; with seriousness, teach the 5-year-old how to overthink.
Write it down.
Step 4: Get Awareness
This step involves reflecting on the patterns collected around how you overthought.
Step 5: Find the Fear inside Ask what fear is hiding inside it.
Like a squirrel stuck hiding in the attic of your mind, take your torch from your hip pocket and shine a light on that fear.
Is it
fear of shame?
fear of rejection?
fear of failure?
Step 6: Celebrate and Thank the Fear
It is keeping you safe.
It has good intentions, but the effects are bad.
Say thank you and Kick it with your shiny boots.
Step 7. Break Pattern
Every habit has four components - 1) Cue, 2) Craving, 3) Response, and 4) Reward. (The book - Power of Habit).
Shortcircuit the habit loop to create a different response but give the same reward.
Step 8: Free…. Now just do it.
Homework:
Follow the above 8 Steps on a task you need to be overthinking/procrastinating. I know it is long, but if you don’t take action, you might be overthinking; you might start at that one.
Signing off
I have finally finished this one, but I still need to finish sending my gift to you. Tonight, you will get my free email course right in your inbox. Yes free :)
If you happen to read this article much later, just DM or email me, and I will send the course through.
I send this email weekly. If you would also like to receive it, join the other fellow technopreneurs and smart people.
If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the ❤️ button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack 🙏